After my 2nd M/C I sent all of the pregnancy email/spam to a folder where I wouldn’t have to see them every day.
I just accidentally clicked on it and saw an email that I received today… I would have been 198 days pregnant. Translation: Week 28.
I don’t know how I feel about that. Kinda shocked that it’s been that long since my rainbow faded away…
I am struggling emotionally with a lot of things at the moment… And have lost the motivation to run… Self confidence is shot.
I know what needs to be done to change it.. but it’s just bringing my self to do it – that’s the hard part.
When I get restless in my life, or need to change something, it is always my hair. The majority of my life I have had long blonde hair. Every so often I chop it off and let it grow out again. I feel that I am getting to that stage… plus it’s driving me insane!
I am currently crushing on the long bob that Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting was sporting back in March. I have had a hair cut very similar to that before, and I think I want to revisit those days.
Check out this hair inspo!
I was reading a post I found on The Healthy Honeypot and it resonated with me, in the sense that I am looked at like I have two heads for leading an active and healthy lifestyle. I find it shocking that people, including family, judge me for for this. They turn up their nose at me when I opt out of eating what they are eating, or when I decline an alcoholic beverage. It’s like the notion of health is foreign to them. There are certain family members that are notorious for this, but in the spirit of being civil, I will not disclose names.
I have grown up on a farm, where the majority of our food was sourced out of the paddock, or out of the veggie patch. Organic.Fresh. Wholesome. This is the food that I try to eat now. Sometimes it is a little hard to eat organic on a uni student budget, but I try and make the effort to source food from sustainable sources (e.g. The Farmers Market in Port Fairy). Sports has always been a cornerstone in my life. So why is it so foreign to think that I would want to continue with this into my adulthood?
I am about to become a registered nurse. So far, I have already seen the burden of the unhealthy choices that people make (I know, healthy people can get sick too). So many of today’s diseases are preventable. It’s like this lifestyle is becoming the norm, and people gravitate towards the masses. Too bad I am educated enough to know better!
If there is one thing that I want people to know, is that you have control over what you put in your mouth, and you are the only person who can take responsibility for the life that you have, and the health that you have. This notion may not be new to some, but unfortunately, it is to others.
I have heard this too many times in the last 2 weeks.
Let me explain my self. And on a side note, if I am over-reacting, please feel free to slap me sideways.
In my Comprehensive Nursing Management class, I am in a group with 4 other mothers. Ages ranging from 25 – 53. I feel kind of weird in this group, as I consider my self a mother, however I have nothing to contribute to their conversations. So I just sit idly by and listen, or study while they are talking about how great their kids are…
Today, I heard “You don’t have children, do you?”, twice. Only because I had brought pre-prepared notes to class, so I wouldn’t be floundering through not knowing what the hell I was doing.
I felt like yelling out, “I have a son who passed away, and then had another miscarriage after that!“. And not to mention that people assume this hasn’t happened because I am “too young”…. But that is a whole other can of worms….
I have heard too many times mothers blaming their children for things that go wrong or awry in their lives…. stretchmarks, not getting their homework done (if they are in uni), grey hairs, stress…. the list goes on. I know, if my son had lived, I would not be blaming my shortcomings on him… And I sure as hell won’t be when I am able to have a child of my own.
But coming back to my original gripe… don’t assume that I don’t have things going on in my life, just because I am diligent enough to do my homework before coming to class.
This whole thing has just rubbed me up the wrong way today… And I know I am not the only one who can relate to this.